I need the world to know, I am none of the above… other than “duh” but only on Tuesday’s.
Seriously though…. if you know me… well, I should say, if you KNEW me… You would know that I used to be a fucking Rockstar Mom, teacher, college student, friend and girlfriend. I was light, fluffy, funny and fun!
Now, let me ask you this… when was the last time you called me? Texted me? Spoke to me privately at all? I disappeared from all social media for over a year and in that year.. the only people I spoke to outside my home (my daughters)… was my grandparents.
I’m not mad at you… I’m just proving a point… What happened to me changed me and affected me in ways that I never imagined could happen to someone with a spirit like mine.
The saddest part… the sex… I used to have a really healthy, perhaps even over-active sex-drive. I used to LOVE sex… now, I am broken… literally broken… not only have I not been touched by a man.. and because my daughters are teenagers and touching/hugging is annoying to them now… I haven’t even been hugged, by anyone in longer than I remember… So… I have cats….
I never knew… but, now I do… why crazy, old, lonely ladies have cats… b/c they cuddle and without their love and affection… well… I can’t even imagine…
HOWEVER>>>> the good news??? Writing this book… and now this blog… I am finally starting to feel ALIVE again!! I am, in no way, ready to date… but, I am feeling happy… excited… funny and even sometimes… fun, again.
So…. as deep, dark and demented as the beginning of this blog is… I make you a promise that from here, out… I will try to interject these posts with all of the fun and light stuff going on in my life… or happy memories… or, fuck… maybe even some good sex stories… b/c I did.. once… long, long ago… enjoy sex.. I know I did.. I remember that girl… barely… but, I do!!
PLUS…. and this is the really fun part… since my agent wants me to turn my book into a memoir.. and b/c I have the memory of an 85-year-old woman (hey, she matches the cats), I am pulling out all my old journals to read and remember the actual dates and facts correctly. Fun Fact?? I have written in at least one, sometimes more, journals a year since I was 12 years old (the age I lost my virginity), yet… I have never ONCE gone back and re-read any of them!!! I just have two big Tupperware bins full of journals in storage, which I am pulling out today and taking a journey down Memory Lane.
So… I’m glad you’re here with me.. I have a feeling this isn’t a journey I should take alone… as you’ve already learned… I have some pretty deep and dark stuff to dig through… but, I promise to tell you all the light and funny and sexy stuff too, pinky promise!!
PS~ If I haven’t already, I need to thank you… all the love and support you have shown thus far has given me strength words cannot describe!! I love you all!! 💞☯️🕉☮️💞