New horizon…

5:37pm

Well folks… here is a picture of the sunset taken from my new bedroom window and if a picture is ordinarily worth 1,000 words.. anyone who knows me and the journey which has brought me here, knows this particular picture… this window and this view is worth more words than could possibly be written in one short blog post.

I could and perhaps will, someday, write an entire book about my journey to the west, the stunning view I had when we first moved and how we lost it and in the process almost lost everything, including my actual and literal life. I could write an entire book about the importance of gratitude and how, even when times are the darkest, there is always something worth gratitude because no matter how bad things seem at any given moment, there is always someone else that has it 100 times worse.

However, what I really want to write about right now.. during this super short moving break.. laying on my soon-to-be bedroom floor…. hidden within this sunset is the hope I feel gazing to the new horizon. These next few days, possibly even weeks are going to be very hard.. a single mom and two teenage girls… moving all by ourselves… but, hey.. we’ve done this before and last time, I was fighting a blood infection with a PICC line in my arm, fighting with my family because they were forced to help us financially due to the extreme conditions under which we were moving and I didn’t die then… so, I’m almost certain it won’t kill me this time either.

Actually, let me take that back… a part of me will die during this move… the part that must pass along, never to return is the piece of me that’s broken and stuck… I will no longer be stuck… I am currently in motion…. I am literally moving… little by little.. more and more each day and as the broken piece dies… my true self is being reborn, coming back to life and I can almost see her there.. on the other side of that horizon…

I will say goodnight now because it’s time to go get the little one from work and from there… well, I’m sure you can guess.. little attention is afforded anything but her once she gets home from a ‘hard day at work’ flipping pizzas, especially in the excitement of our adventurous days of moving.

So, I will say goodnight and tomorrow.. when I come back… I wil be more of me and less broken… as my physical self becomes tired, achy and sore.. my spiritual self is awaking once again… and it’s so nice to see her for I truly feared she was gone for good.

So… wish me a good nights sleep, the sweetest of dreams and to awaken even more energetic and productive tomorrow.

As I fall asleep tonight, I will be singing the lyrics of a song which my grandmother had the entire family memorize and sing one whacky Christmas Eve…

“Yes we can…

we can do anything…

we can do anything we believe”

Goodnight!! +)